Parenthood and Nightmares
by Wanderingidealism
Summary: This is a little spoiler for a much larger story about Skadi's life before Skyrim; The Dawnguard story is quite dark... Her father, Thorbjorn was the Hero of Dawnguard (so yeah, warnings for canon stretching like CRAAAZY) and this is one of two endings for that story (I liked them both way to much) So yeah. Not property of me. Thorbjorn is a bamf though


Parenthood and Nightmares.

Thorbjorn turned to Serana, who gazed at the ashes of her father sadly, mourning a relationship that never was. Thorbjorn respected her loss but did not regret his actions; the ragged remains of his daughter's red dress were still tucked neatly into his armor, against his heart.

He had lost far too much in this battle; more than any other man could hope to survive.

He bade farewell to Serana, and she to him, knowing it was likely the last they'd ever see of each other, despite the bond that could have been love between them. It wasn't possible now; each side had lost people too close to their hearts to forge a relationship out of what was left. Serana promised to watch over the vampires of Skyrim, and Thorbjorn nodded, before he left the altar room and descended to the bridge.

He opened the door to the castle, staring mournfully into the pre-dawn light, and felt his heart constrict; he had lost his wife to this war, because of his own inaction. He had then lost his daughter because he hadn't fought hard enough to save her. Had he really fallen this far from his former strength? Had he lost all that had once made him such a powerful warrior? He couldn't bear it. His hands began to tremble, and his eyes watered; he couldn't bring himself to blink away the tears.

The warriors who fought beside him were lined against the sides of the bridge, gazing in awe at the Hero of Dawnguard, the man who had saved all of Tamriel from a Vampire Plague that would have ended it. Thorbjorn didn't feel as heroic as they saw him in the light of the dawn; he felt defeated and worn, a stranger in his own skin.

The coming of the Dawn didn't ease his pain, it only amplified his misery and self-loathing; Skadi loved the dawn almost as much as she loved the dusk, and would drag him out of bed in the mornings to watch the stars disappear into the night. He would never hear her bubbly laughter, or see her bright blue eyes again. They were lost to him now, as lost as the touch of her mother's hands, and the bright fire of her hair as the sun beat down on it.

He realized with a jolt what this meant; he had failed them, his family, whom he had sworn to protect. Thorbjorn sunk to his knees in despair.

The bridge was deathly silent, not even Kodlak or his fellow Companions said a word, understanding his grief. The other members of the Dawnguard stood silently by, not daring to make a sound, as Thorbjorn cried out in anguish at all he had lost.

He grew silent after a while, tears streaming through the blood and gore on his face, leaving streaks barely visible in the light of the pre-dawn. Nothing could pull him from despair, and he longed for some Aedra or Daedra to kill him where he knelt, to take him from this misery.

Until….

"Da?" a small, hardly audible voice said from afar. Thorbjorn paused, his head snapped up quickly and his eyes widened.

As Dawn broke over the horizon, lighting the sky with Meridia's rosy light, two Figures became visible on the other end of the bridge; Toh Lei was one of them, his greenish-black scales gleaming in the sun, but next to him, holding his hand tightly…

"Da!" The little girl shouted again, her voice hoarse. She tore herself from Toh Lei's side and ran forward, stumbling over rubble and debris with tiny, bare feet, her arms skinny and boney from weeks of poor nutrition. Dressed in a tattered tunic, her hair matted and dirty with weeks of grime and gore, tears streaming from one bright, blue eye was his daughter, battered, beaten, and terrified, but alive.

"Skadi!" Thorbjorn said, choking on relief. Tears streamed down his face anew and he rushed to the little girl, scooping her into his arms and laughing with joy. Thorbjorn pulled his daughter to his chest, once again sinking to his knees, as little arms circled around his neck and tiny legs curled into the blood-spattered armor.

"I-I thought they kill't you," Skadi sobbed, her high-pitched voice cracking hoarsely, "They kill't Mama, n' said they were gonna kill you."

"No Fauntkin, I am alive," Thorbjorn whispered, "I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry. I let you down."

"No Da, it wasn't your fault," Skadi sobbed, tears running down her blood-stained, dirty face, "It wasn't your fault."

Thorbjorn paused, looking over his daughter's body for a moment, examining her wounds. Her auburn hair was, of course, matted and grimy from weeks of being in a dungeon; she was dressed in a ragged tunic, and loose bandages made of dirtied cloth were wrapped around her arms, bloodstained and definitely not clean to begin with. Her arms themselves were covered in cuts and bruises, some of them infected and would probably leave scars. Her legs were in much the same condition, only covered by a pair of thin, torn leggings. Her skin was pale in the light of the early morning. She had lost weight; not enough to look unhealthy, but it was evident- she hardly weighed anything. She had a slight fever, and was trembling in her father's arms, though from poor nutrition, fear, relief, or illness, Thorbjorn could not tell. She was clearly losing the strength to keep awake.

The most noticeable feature on his child's body however was the distinct trail of dried blood lining the right side of her face. It led to her right eye, which Thorbjorn realized with a jolt was cut open and bleeding. The eye was still in its socket, but instead of the normal blue iris, he was met with a milky-white, unseeing gaze. He choked again, guilt resurging from deep inside; they had hurt his daughter, left her to rot in a dungeon, and he had let her get injured and abused.

Why oh Why didn't he kill them all as soon as Serana had led him to the castle? Why did he not simply murder the Vampire lord as soon as he saw him?! He could have freed his baby girl months ago, and saved her this torment! He sighed sadly, attempting to mask his thoughts, to put on a brave face for his daughter.

"You killed the vampire guy, right Da?" Skadi asked softly, "He said he was gonna kill you and eat you, like he wanted to do to me… A lot of people died saving m-me…" Skadi was trembling, and she stopped speaking suddenly, going a shade paler. Thorbjorn started to hush her crying, looking to Toh Lei for answers.

"Later," The Argonian said, looking solemn, "It is not something she should have had to bear, but it will follow her nonetheless."

Thorbjorn nodded, instead standing up, looking ahead to where Kodlak stood with his Shield-Siblings. The old man looked at the child in his arms sadly, as if knowing the burden the child would bear on her conscience. Thorbjorn kissed Skadi's warm forehead and smoothed back her hair, resting her in the crook of his arm.

"You're safe now, little one," he whispered to her, "I'll not let anything like that happen to you ever again, I swear." His tears fell into her dirty hair as she tucked her head into his neck and slowly eased into sleep.

Thorbjorn once again walked the bridge, this time with relief, all traces of despair nearly gone from his visage; his daughter was safe, he had not utterly failed. Kodlak smiled at him from where he stood and the warriors around them both gave a mighty cheer as the Hero of Dawnguard passed, his daughter safe in his arms, his best friend at his side, and Skyrim safe once again.

The sun shone brightly in the blue sky; a new day had dawned.

It wasn't until later, after they were patched up by the kind old alchemist in Solitude, that Thorbjorn had learned what had happened to Skadi in the dungeons of the Vampire Lord. Skadi was sleeping in the Inn they had stayed at, too tired to ride to Whiterun, where they decided to stay until their home in Ivarstead was rebuilt. She had woken up Screaming and thrashing in the middle of the night, and Thorbjorn had to calm her, soothing her back to sleep.

"I found her cowering in a corner of a dank cell," The argonian said, gravely, his reptilian eyes looking deeply into Thorbjorn's own, "They kept her chained up like a dog. There were others too, and I freed them, and one of them explained to me what they put the little girl through."

Toh Lei stopped speaking for a moment, looking toward the merrily crackling fire, as if lost in trance.

"What happened?" Thorbjorn asked, equally as grave, "What haunt's my child's dreams and causes her to wake screaming in the night? What made my daughter scared of being held?" the thought scared him, even more than the extremities of Skadi's wounds did. Many of the cuts would leave scars, and the old woman could not restore her eye to full functioning status. Those scars did not worry him so much as the mental scars that his five-year-old would carry for the rest of her life, "With what visions does Vaermina plague my Skadi?"

Toh Lei did not turn his gaze back to the Nord Warrior, but he sighed and did continue speaking.

"The other prisoners in the cells next to her said they had all been kept alive, because they were to be used as human cattle," The argonian said, firelight flickering in his haunted eyes, "They were in chains, many were beaten and ill. Some of them were even branded like farmers brand their beasts… The Alchemist we took Skadi to had found one on her shoulder. Thorbjorn, most of them hadn't been there a _week_, let alone a few months, and the amount of damage on them was far worse than what we saw on Skadi." It was clear what he saw in the dungeons had affected Toh Lei, who shuddered at the defeated, broken forms dancing across his memories.

"What are you saying?" Thorbjorn asked, "Did they torture my daughter?"

"Yes, a form of it I suppose," Toh Lei said, "the vampires tormented her mind, mocked her, told her how worthless she was, and that no one would ever come for her. They told her how delicious she'd taste… That their master wanted to make her a Coldharbour Lady, the new Vampire princess to replace his traitorous daughter."

Thorbjorn growled, clenching his fists. He wished he thrashed the vampire's body more. He could feel his wolf calling for more blood, to avenge his child by wreaking havoc on the vampires that remained. He shook himself out of it quickly, calming down.

"That isn't the extent of it," Toh Lei said, quietly, "When I found her, she was the only one left in her cell. According to a prisoner in the cell next to hers, there were five others brought in with her. She was the smallest, and the youngest. They felt the need to defend her," Toh Lei said, his eyes staring blankly at the fire, "when the vampires came to slaughter them for a meal, they would throw themselves in front of Skadi, and refuse to move. They would volunteer themselves to be eaten, to spare her life. The sacrificed themselves for a child who was not their own. Three of her cell mates were young imperial soldiers, hardly out of training; the one who told me of this said they believed they were doing it out of duty to the citizens of the Empire.. they would often try to get her mind off of the cell by telling her stories; One was an old man, who was once a bard- he sang her songs to drown out the screams of dying prisoners and the howls of the Hellhounds; the final prisoner was a young woman in a wedding gown, who would soother her tears with funny stories, and who held her close through the cold nights. They gave their lives so that she may live. And once they were gone, the vampires would not let her forget them… Sometimes they'd bring down their remains for her to see, or sometimes they'd kill them in front of her, preparing the bodies to feast on where she could see them… what's keeping her awake is probably the memories of their deaths."

Thorbjorn was silent, seething in rage at the horrors his child had witnessed. No child should have to bear the burden of having someone sacrifice their life for themselves at her age. No child should have been in a position where their life was in peril like that; Thorbjorn felt the unbearable guilt well up inside his heart again, and he lay his head in his hands.

"What kind of monsters would force a child to witness such brutality?" He said aloud, not speaking to anyone, "What kind of monsters would force people to decide which of them lives or dies?"

"A terrible, soulless kind," Toh Lei sighed darkly, "You should not let her forget their sacrifice… I believe the old man told her not to waste her life- that she was made for something greater than a Vampire's meal… That songs would be written about her, and that she would become legend. He was a mage as well as a Bard, I think. One of the other men in the prison called him some kind of Prophet. I think he had a vision about Skadi or something… in any case she should not ever forget them; she must honor their sacrifice by living, and never forget what the world can do to people. I don't think she'll forget about them anytime soon."

"Aye… nor will I let her… They gave themselves up so that she may live, and that is a deed greater than any other. I will honor their deaths, and so shall she…" Thorbjorn swore never to leave his child's side when she needed him, and that he'd help his child become what the old prophet had said she would. He would be at her side to protect her, for as long as his legs would support him.

"It won't be easy," Toh Lei said, gravely, "these dreams won't stop. She'll never forget what they did for her, sure, but she'll also remember the horrors she witnessed. It will always haunt her, until the end of her days."

Thorbjorn had seen the look in his daughter's eyes, after she had woken up screaming. It was the same look soldiers got when they had seen too much battle; the same gaze of the refugee fleeing a war-torn home. It was a look that should not be seen in any child's eyes, especially not his own; The thousand-yard stare.

"I will never fail her again," Thorbjorn said, gravely, "I won't let her be taken again, if it costs me my life!"

"I'll hold you to that," Toh Lei said, looking once more at Thorbjorn.

They sat in silence for the rest of the night, as Skadi slept through her illness and infection.

Note: _I forgot the Vampire guy's name from Dawnguard. Sorry. It's Serana's Father. I promise. _

_Double note- This is a clipping from a much larger story. Sorry if it doesn't make any sense to anyone, I was in a feelsy mood._

_This happened. _

_And about nox's story- working on it. College sucks and I'm flipping the fuck out. My inner voice told me to take an hour off to blow off some stress and that is what I did. This happened._

_I regret nothing._

_BTW- thank you to everyone who has ever commented on any of my stories._

_*** Triple Note***_

_If I haven't already said this I am going to inform you, I LOATHE VAMPIRES WITH THE WHOLE OF MY SOUL. I make very few exceptions- one of whom is Serana. This whole story arc gave me the heebie-jeebies and I spent two weeks with my spine crawling; vampires are fucked up man. I don't even find them REMOTELY attractive._

_funny story- When Serana was like, "Oh, there are two ways I can get us into the soul cairne, one, I can trap half your power in a soul gem and you probably won't get them out. or two I could turn you into-_

"HALF MY POWERS BITCH. THIS INSTANT." was pretty much my response.

_my friend was like, "Whoa whoa, hold on, Vampirism over losing half your power? go with vampireism-_

_and I was like, "Fuck that. I'm a mother fucking werewolf. and Vampires are just fucking creepy."_

_and thus I went from a level 40+ Nord warrior to a level 20. _

_That is how much I HATE vampires. _


End file.
